Clarity and Security

My 16th wedding anniversay. Though in the state of separation, I always cherish the hope of a better future, a more promising marriage, a happier life, a more fruitful career.... Recently I read a book "Hope for the Separated" by Gary Chapman. A book motivates me to make my chaotic relationship a clarity. I made a decision to do something - a legal divorce or a reunity. With this conviction, I do something solid to express my care and my love to my separated spouse.

Confession and airing my inner voice to My Lord (who will show and respond my prayer) who sustains me to do anything to rectify the present deadlock. I phoned my husband and asked for a brief gathering and confessed to him my sins my wrongs and pardoned for forgiveness and expressed my appreciation for what he'd contributed the family and the kids. We met. We clarified the situation and we made a clear decision:- divorce is the outcome. We confessed in tears. But we're in contempt. Without a trace of bitterness in me, we exchanged our blessings with each other.

With all these clarity, I grasped my security again. I am not merely looking for a marriage, but the freedom in my spirit and in my heart. I really catch that glimpse of freedom.... thanks God! I understand, divorce is never YOUR plan on me. But it is the choice of two uncomitted persons or at least from one who declines to comit himself/herself to the marriage for life. YOU grant us the choice. Without regret, I have followed your deed to love my enemy and pardon for the forgiveness for my sins and do my best for reunity (though fails).

Thanks for granting me the personal freedom and happiness and strength and courage.....
My inaugural SPA e-newsletter is on the way and hopefully issued by the end of MARCH... and a SPA gathering is expected in this summer. If you are eager to get one, send me the email and register.

Loving you!


the runner of SPA

多謝支持

內心興奮莫名! 無言感激!
我找到不是單純物質可以滿足的喜悅,而富足的來源:你的鼓勵和實際的支持. 或許成為單親媽媽,從來不是我的希冀; 本著既來之,則安之的心情,更可以不斷前進,尋找更有希望的明天.何解? 全因為信望愛!

無意化spa為純粹是個人大吐苦水的地點, 就讓苦水化成淚水,再把淚水昇華為快樂的清泉.

以下是一位同路中人的心聲,也是對spa投以實際的支持的擁躉....

快樂的單親媽媽

某日，一位姊妹問我為何總是笑，好像沒有煩惱似的………

呆一呆，我不是一向如此的嗎？ 再想想，噢！不是的，我從前不是這樣子的。 常常滿臉笑容，那是因為我覺得「安全」，心無愁苦吧！

某日，久違了的一個朋友甫見我面即說：「看見你的樣子，我便放心，你一定活得很好吧！容光煥發的，比起十年前更漂亮………」

啊！實在太興奮了！ 尤其當發現無論歲月如何催人，生活怎樣迫人，擔子怎樣沈重，也無損我的「氣色」，還比以前更有朝氣、漂亮！趕緊照多兩下鏡子。 唔！果真不錯！嘻嘻！

誰說離婚婦人黯然無光的呢？
誰說單親媽媽滿是苦澀的呢？

結婚九年，就在週年紀念的翌日，丈夫與另一個女人雙雙飛往泰國旅行。

離婚至今已有兩年多時間，子女撫養權歸我。 由當日的家變，經歷了哀傷、痛楚、嬲怒、憤恨、絶望、各樣掙扎、打擊，至今早已平靜下來。

從不刻意逃避過去，也不頑固地守在回憶裏。 生活還是要過的。 我只想按着神的旨意去活好我的生命，好好等待着美好的將來。 這是神的應許。 衪不是說過有更美好的家鄉嗎？

曾經與一個有相同遭遇的朋友傾偈。 她深受被丈夫抛棄的打擊，久久不能復原；不能專心工作，結果失去了工作；不能保重自己，生活在混亂中，仿彿一個靈魂出竅的人，淒涼渡日。 幸好未有孩子，否則更處水深火熱中。 我勸她放手，愛錫自己，但她只是繼續嗟嘆………

另一位是我的鄰居，與我一樣，有一對子女均在小學階段，彼此相識十年。 當她還在驚訝我的婚變的同時，她也遇上同一命運。 曾經拼命留住丈夫，但却同時掩不住憎恨，給痛苦折磨，傷口至今未能復原。 每日拖着沉重的腳步返工放工。 因做地產營業員的關係，晚晚不到十一時回不到家，子女的學業全交給補習老師。 安頓到生活，却兼顧不到親子關係。 愁苦寫滿了臉上，只見一張苦瓜臉，一對空洞的眼睛。

大概我是幸運的一個。 真的，我心裏沒有苦澀。 有不高興的話，受委屈的時候，有掙扎的心情，我是憋不住的，必會向身邊要好的朋友好姊妹「嘔」出來。

記得當日還是一團糟的時候，曾經對一個好朋友講過，「怎樣也好，決不做個充滿苦澀的女人」。 我果然做到了！我的宗旨是：對自己好些，千祈不要折磨自己，放手吧！切勿給苦澀纒繞一生。 放眼看世界，還有值得我們喝采的生命，何況我還有一對可愛的心肝寶貝呢！

可喜的是，本身是一個善忘的人。 近年記憶力差了（始終有一定的年紀，不是嗎？），明明看過的東西，轉身已不知放到那兒去了。 這「善忘」固然為我增添不少麻煩 — 時時要東尋西找，費煞思量，但也給我帶來清心，不是嗎？我不會對舊事念念不忘，尤其是那些不如意事。

人生還是充滿希望啊！


一位快樂的單親媽媽
二零零五年三月二日

My way

Though I'm never able to foretell what my future will be, yet I am free to enjoy what I am now. Though sometimes, somehow and somewhat entangled with some worldly trouble -- like finance, like unresolved relationship, like undefined worry, unfinished plan, loss of direction and aim in life .... Thanks for all being, I can from time to time grasp some fresh idea (insight and inspiration from God) to continue my walk in life which substantiate myself to thrive and to serve with my full strength and devotion. I started smelling the personal freedom and took a full and deep breath....Enjoying my "present" is the essence of personal freedom. The crucial point is how to treasure and view and perceive the "present" you have. Personal freedom or deadlock is all your choice. But how?

Being a single working mom, at times I feel very strained and lack of personal freedom. Uncompleted work, gloomy future, tiresome household chores, tight financial budget and loss of vision and passion in life ... all added up to the innermost of myself without an outlet.

Personal freedom Teleclass does provide me a systematic but tailor made self-motivating program to ignite my own spirit and passion of life and re-orient myself back to my treasured value of life. The program helps me to dig deeper and deeper of my own self and understand my own needs, wants and vaules and to recall back the true self. Thus I really treasure this personal freedom class with motivation and clear destiny as planned by my God. It is really a novel, innovative and wonderful experience to set myself free by means of teleclass. Just stay inertia (I mean no transportation needed) and keep in touch by phone within a scheduled time span save a lot of trouble for busy women or men alike nowadays.

I do enjoy it and would like to introduce to you. Why not try it? It is not costly and for the priviledged few. You dare not to miss it.

Join and register!