Bring back my Alan to me

I'm happy to foster up a friendship- the friendship with my holy spirit. I will call him "Alan".

I'm a little weird these few days. I feel unloved & strained. I made up my mind to love myself more & be gentle to myself... God answers my prayer. HE turns the picture. HE schedules my time table. HE sets my priority list. HE changes my heart. I spent hours reading books in library & to re-collect my pieces of broken heart both mentally, physically and spiritually.

I weeped & even cried when reading two of the stories from the Chicken Soup series. May I share one of them with you -- Christmas joy by Phyllis Volkens?

Phyllis was deeply submerged in her pits of sorrow & tears for her mother & her sister had been killed in a tragic car accident before Christmas. She wished that she could wipe out the so-called "Christmas" from the calendar. But... she couldn't, her kids were anticipating festive time to come... Jungle bells.... jungle all the way... She was terrribly despeate & all her self-pity overwhelmed her. On 23rd December, she took a walk in her neighbourhood to alleviate her deep sorrow. As she walked & passed by different households nearby, she recalled there were different sorts of misfortune or suffering the families were facing. She was not the one who was suffering. There was hardly a family that didn't have sorrow or tragedy. Didn't everyone bear their own burdens & cry their own tears?

When she was back to her home, she decided to muster up herself & celebrated the festival with her family- her husband and her children (one 5 and the other 1). Moving the extra mile, she packed a lot of toys & gifts & wrapped them up. Empathy began to awaken her & even unlocked her grief by the act of giving. She started preparing, wrapping different presents for her worse-off neighbouring especially to a little girl whose father had just passed away. It would be the first Christmas that that family without a father. On Christmas eve, Phyllis and her elder daughter secretly piled up all the gifts by the doorstep of that unfortunate family. They pressed the bell & when the girl opened the door and saw that pile of presents. She burst in laughter and screamed with joy. She shouted to her mom, "Christmas is coming."

I was really moved by this story... it is a transformation. Agreed with Phyllis: this sort of warmth, though does not extinguish sorrow... it makes sorrow more bearable.

It should be this passion in life -- mine or others that I must grasp once more not by myself, but with Alan, my spiritual soul, my holy spirit. In reaching out, we heal ourselves; in giving happiness, we gain our peace & in overriding sorrow, we grasp our joy!

John 15 "The Vine & the Branches" teaches me a fruitful lesson "JOURNEY to JOY".


Amen.